Competition in Belly Dance

While the bellydance community is predominantly very accepting and supportive, there are those few and far between students who take the joy out of your dance class experience. Dance is supposed to be fun, but when some people take the fun out of it your new-found passion for bellydance is greatly affected. What can you do to fend off their negativity?

The good news is they can only take away your joy of dance if you let them! Over the years I’ve tried to understand this phenomenon, and have developed a totally unscientific theory that student dancer behavior falls into 1 of 4 different categories:

Category 1s: Genuinely try to be helpful, but deliver the message with all the subtlety of a train wreck;

Category 2s: Take it upon themselves to ‘help’ the instructor by pointing out perceived flaws in other students;

Category 3s: Are jealous of another’s abilities and decide they intentionally want to hurt someone’s feelings;

Category 4s: See someone learning much quicker than they did and feel threatened.

Learn to recognize the categories, keeping in mind that there can be overlap between them. Once you’ve determined the source of your classmate’s issues you can choose how to respond, or whether to respond at all.

“Wow, your ¾ Shimmy finally looks better!” is a definite Category 1. This student has noticed your hard work has paid off, but her delivery is somewhat lacking. Your response could be something as simple as “Why, thank you!” delivered with a genuine smile.

“Your ¾ Shimmy isn’t even on both sides, by now it should be” falls into Category 2. Here the student has taken it upon herself to determine how even your shimmy should be, and the proper length of time it should take you to get it to that point. She’s probably noticed your shimmy is different than hers, and has assumed hers is correct. Your energies are best spent ignoring this individual; she can’t be paying much attention to her own technique if she’s busy critiquing everyone else’s!

But if ignoring your classmate isn’t practical you may wish to ask your instructor to evaluate your shimmy. If your instructor doesn’t notice a need for improvement, it’s because there isn’t! If she does, take her critique as an opportunity to improve and follow her suggestions. Then, the next time this student makes a similar comment you can just smile and say “Oh I’ve been working on it with our instructor, and she’s given me some great technique tips!”

“You call that a ¾ Shimmy?” A Category 3 comment, in spades! If you find yourself on the receiving end of such nastiness, it’s best to ignore the comment. People who revel in cutting down a classmate’s technique feed on the negative responses they receive in order to dish out more nastiness. If ignoring them doesn’t work, you may need to speak to them privately either before or after class and let them know their comment is inappropriate. The dance studio is not an ego battleground, and class time should not be wasted on issues such as this. Generally when you are firm and direct in your approach, the student gets the message and will stop their inappropriate behavior.

“Dear, your ¾ Shimmy isn’t what it used to be, it’s a shame you haven’t worked hard enough to keep it going.” The key to recognizing this Category 4 statement is its condescending tone. Best to consider the source and ignore it! Like the Category 3 statement, responding defensively will only add fuel to the fire and responding in kind only lowers you to their level.

While it would be tempting to ask your instructor to interfere in a Category 3 or 4 situation, she or he will likely tell the two of you to work out the issue on your own. However instructors are very good at sensing “problem children” in their classes, may have overheard the offensive comments, and may have already responded with a general statement to the class that disrespectful attitudes and behaviors will not be tolerated.

Hopefully you won’t have to cope with a Category 3 or 4 situation in your bellydance class. But if you do, learn to recognize the situation and develop your response. You will handle each one differently, and some you will handle better than others. What’s important to remember is the students who try to make belly dance class a competition are in the minority. Don’t let them succeed, and your classes will continue to be fun and inspiring!